Hear ye, hear ye! I declare this post in the name of random wedding rants! I know that brides are supposed to be delicate and demure and that grooms should be gallant and composed, but damnit! Sometimes planning a wedding can be a little taxing. This post today is in substitution of a therapy session. You, dear readers, are my surrogate psychiatrists. Here we go…
RANT NUMBER 1: CONVERSATION AUTOPILOT
Do any of you brides and grooms feel that sometimes you’re answering the same questions over and over? As our wedding has approached, I feel like I am having the same conversation on auto play repeat no matter where I go. It sounds something like this:
Someone else: Hey, your wedding is coming up soon isn’t it?
Me: Yeah, it’s in (fill in appropriate number) weeks. It’s coming so fast!
Someone else: So what do you guys have left to plan?
Me: Oh not much…just little odds and ends.
Someone else: How exciting!
Me: Yeah.
Don’t get me wrong, folks! I’m excited to get married! I love all things wedding! I love imagining how the day will look and feel. And it’s so nice to hear how people are excited for us. I’m just a lil’ tired and answering the same question over and over tends to become automated. Surprise me and ask me something unexpected like how does your cleavage look in your wedding dress or have you considered having a petting zoo at the reception?
RANT NUMBER 2: SUMMER WAS APPROXIMATELY THREE HOURS LONG.
At the beginning of our engagement, I would have maybe one wedding project a month which would be leisurely addressed, and I could change my mind a million times without feeling the time crunch of my impending nuptials. Lately, time has become a precious commodity that seems to be dwindling.
I’ve had a full schedule this summer of projects, contacts, parties, double checking, fittings, tastings, crafting, bartering, shopping, and blogging. I still have things on my to do list! Grrr!!
I remember thinking that I was so happy that I would be done with my school in the spring before we got married this fall because that meant that I could easily finish up any wedding projects this summer without rush or crunching.
It seems to me that I’m the type of person who will find something to occupy her time even if she’s finished all her projects. This is my own doing, and I need to come to terms that my to-do list will never end.
RANT NUMBER 3: PEOPLE ASSUME AN INVITE.
I’ll make this one short and blunt. People should never ever ever assume that they are invited to someone’s wedding, especially if they are not a close friend or family. It is just plain rude for someone to approach a bride or groom to be and ask them for an invite or tell them that they hope they’re invited to the wedding. I cannot tell you how many people (who I think should know better) have blatantly asked if they could come to our wedding. Who does this??? I know that weddings are exciting and fun, folks, but you really put a bride or a groom in an EXTREMELY AWKWARD spot when this question is posed. It has some to do with whether or not the bride and groom likes you, but the scope of a guest list is also dictated by many other factors.
RANT NUMBER 4: THE “WHAT IF” GAME.
Unless a bride or groom specifically approaches you and says that they would like to brainstorm possible disaster scenarios and back up plans for their wedding day, don’t play devil’s advocate. It causes unnecessary drama. No matter what happens on the wedding day, things will work out. If someone forgets something or stands in the wrong place, IT WILL BE OKAY. So stop with the what if, and just let the bride and groom enjoy their time leading up to the wedding.
RANT NUMBER 5:….UM…….
Hmm…I guess I have no more rants right now. My apologies for this unusually negative post, but I could feel these thoughts banging around in my brain, and I needed a cathartic experience to get them out. I feel much better. Thanks for listening as my verbosity ran amuck. Now it’s your turn. If you need to scream, scream. If you need to shout an explicative in the middle of the mall, do it…in Swahili. If you need to karate chop something, take a rug outside and beat the ever-loving mess out of it. Then straighten your veil, get your nails did, and slap that smile back on.
Tell me on the message board what you’d like to rant about today. It will make me feel better for being so cranky in this post! J
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