Several observations have led up to today’s post: 

1)       The disappointment in my friend’s face when she told us that the pictures of her wedding altar with her wedding party barely showed up because of the poorly lit space.  What could we say?  You can’t really go back and fix that. 

2)      The moodiness that we experience on cloudy days where the sun hides.

3)      The abundance of lighting in any given house even when a single light bulb would take care of an entire room.

My hypothesis based upon my observations (my science teacher would be so proud…): 

LIGHTING IS IMPORTANT.

We like a room to be lit properly, and for every wedding there is a certain lighting scheme that makes or breaks a room.  Even an ugly room can look better with the right kinds of lighting.  Whether you want dark and romantic or light and airy, the proper lighting can do wonders.

So let’s start from the basics and work our way up, shall we?

Candlelight –  Get that glow going by lighting some twinkling tea lights in some beautiful votives on your tables.  Float a candle in a vase of water.  Give your guests candles to light their way.  The gentle randomness of a candle’s glow can certainly add to the ambiance of a space.  (Depending on your ceremony and reception areas, you may or may not be able to have open flame candles.  If you can’t, opt for the battery operated flickering tea lights.  They look fairly realistic.)

Lanterns – Whether they are paper or metal, lanterns are a great way to house an open flame or a light bulb in a safe and beautiful container.  Lanterns can throw gentle light over a large space, and they look great whether they are all by themselves or massed together!

String Lights – Not just for Christmas, various sorts of string lights can really add to the glow of a room.  Whether they are out in the open or hidden, the tiny lights resemble more candlelight or even fireflies.  Put them everywhere!  Under tables, under tulle, in vases, around your cake, strung above your dance floor!

Can lighting and pin lighting – Whether it’s to add some depth to understated columns or to highlight a specific area, can lighting and pin lighting can be a way to add instant drama. 

Colorwash – Don’t like the stark white walls?  Bored with beige?  A colorwash lighting system can completely change the color to pretty much anything you’d like.  You can even have the lighting gradually change throughout the evening from one color to the next!

Gobos – Now we’re getting fancy with customized stencils that can go over can lights and spot lights to add a message or names to wherever the light shines.  How fun would it be for your lighted names to jump around the dance floor as your guests are dancing?

Does all this lighting jargon sound like a short circuit waiting to happen?  No worries, my friends.  There are plenty of professionals out there who are license and experienced in setting up event lighting.  For example, we are having our rental company, AAA Rents, install string lighting on just about every inch of surface for our wedding.  They will get up on those high ladders, they’ll make sure the electrical stuff is where it needs to be, and they’re even installing a dimmer!  We have several rental companies and lighting experts in the Quad Cities, so do a little checking around to see how you can add that GLOW to your wedding!  J

If planning this wedding has taught me anything, it is that I am a blundering idiot when it comes to etiquette.  In general, I think that I am a polite person and a good hostess.  I can talk a blue streak to anyone, and I feel comfortable hosting a party.  HOWEVER.  I feel decidedly awkward when it comes to being the center of attention.  I would hate for anyone to feel that I am demanding or greedy or narcissistic.  I think all human beings can be a little demanding/greedy/narcissistic; I’d just prefer to be on the lower end of the scale for these attributes. 

Unfortunately, I feel like I have to face these things when it comes to wedding-associated events.  Generally speaking, while planning a wedding one cannot avoid asking for things, placing direct or indirect expectations on people to give gifts, and the spotlight certainly cannot be avoided.  What one does and how one does it is being closely scrutinized, right?  Or is this all in my paranoid head? 

I did a decent job keeping the gift giving on the down low.  When my Martha Stewart to-do list told me that it was time to register, we registered…but didn’t really tell anyone.  When we sent out save the date cards, we put our wedding website on it which has registry info…but again, we didn’t draw attention to it. 

Then about a month ago plans were put in place to throw a bridal shower in my honor.  All the important ladies in my life are pitching in to throw a nice little afternoon get together with my closest friends and family.  Food is being prepared, games are being planned, and invitations with registry info are being sent out.  Everyone is being really lovely about everything.

Inside, I am cringing a little.

I blanche a little every time someone asks me a question about our registry, and while I’m looking forward to socializing and eating food (my MOH is a seriously awesome chef), I am totally dreading the unavoidable moment when I have to sit down in front of everyone and open gifts.  I find this rather ironic since I love going to parties and watching people open gifts!  It’s pleasant, it’s fun, it’s nice to see what things people get.  But when it comes to my turn, I get butterflies. 

Why is this?  Is it because I’ll be opening gifts and feigning surprise over something that I’ve picked out myself?  Is it because I’ll probably open gifts that weren’t on our registry that maybe I won’t care for?  Is it because I’ll probably open cards with money in them?  How do you graciously open gifts in these situations when everyone is looking forward to your reaction?  How does someone who detests being fake put on the fake face and muster up a genuine smile no matter what?  Help!

I voiced these concerns to my mom who reminded me of a birthday party I had had when I was a little girl where I opened a gift that happened to be a Barbie doll that I already had.  She told me that she sweated for a second worried about what I’d say but that I smiled at the little girl who had given me the gift and gave her a big fat thank you before moving on to the next gift.  Oh.  Okay, I can do that.  My mom’s anecdote gave me a little hope that certainly I may have retained this gift opening ability from my childhood. 

After researching some shower etiquette and gift opening tips, I felt a little better.  Here are some things you should NOT do:

1)       Refuse to open gifts.  Not nice.  Will cause drama.  Now you’re REALLY the center of attention.

2)      Hide.  They will eventually find you.  They know where you live.

3)      Drink heavily before entering the shower…unless everyone else is.  J

Here are some crib notes of ten things we SHOULD do at a shower.  (I will read these three times before entering the bridal shower):

1)       Remember that while this party is thrown in your honor, it’s not actually all about you.  While YOU may not want to open gifts, your guests probably are looking forward to this part. 

2)      If you registered, you will most likely receive presents off of your registry.  You don’t have to act surprised.  Rather, you can tell everyone how you’ve been looking forward to this and how you plan on using it.

3)      Even if you’ve registered, you will probably have guests who would prefer to buy you something else…maybe something personalized or maybe some artwork even.  You can definitely act surprised for these as, well, it’s a surprise!  Compliment the item, and ask the gift-giver a question about it – This is amazing/gorgeous/useful!  Where did you find this?  Did you notice that we had forgotten to register for XXX? 

4)      You might receive cards with money, checks, or gift cards in them.  Tell them that you registered at the XXX store because you LOVE shopping there, so you can’t wait to use the gift card down the road, maybe for XXX.

5)      You may receive a duplicate gift.  This happens sometimes if someone doesn’t tell the cashier or the cashier incorrectly enters the info into your registry.  Look up and laugh because it’s not a tragedy and say something to the effect that so and so have equally great taste evidenced by picking out the same gifts. 

6)      You will quite possibly receive a gift or two that you just plain don’t want or don’t like.  (At their wedding shower, my parents received planters fashioned as outhouses with their names engraved on them as gifts…from my grandmother.)  Follow the same protocol as when you receive anything that you didn’t expect.  After the shower you can decide what you want to do with the item (use it, return it, re-gift it, etc.), but for now, it’s the thought that counts.

7)      With any gift, you should say aloud who gave it, and you will want to read the card before opening the gift.  That’s just niceness, and we are not three.  Card first.  Gift second. 

8)      With any gift, you definitely need to look up and make eye-contact with the gift giver so that you can give them a genuine thank you and a smile.  Whether you love the item or not, whether you feel awkward or not, this person spent time and/or money to come to the shower,  and that makes them as much of an honored guest as you are.

9)      Have someone on the side writing down who gave what because right after that shower is over, you should get going on those thank you cards.  Each gift warrants a thank you card, and this is an etiquette rule that just doesn’t go out of style.  A note sent in the mail is preferable.  Etiquette says that the thank-yous should be sent out no later than two weeks after the shower.  My advice is to do this right away while everything is still fresh in your mind and before you roll up the nice list that your friend made of who gave what to use to kill a spider in the corner or something.

10)   Consider giving a small favor to your shower guests as a token of thank you.  I personally will be doing this as I will feel better if I’ve given something back to my guests. 

So this is what I’m ultimately telling you (and myself) today:  Come on!  Give the guests what they want!  They are not vultures waiting to humiliate or torture you; these are your family and friends!  Relax, open the gifts, and if nothing else, be thankful that you don’t have to open the wedding gifts at the wedding!  J

Please bear with me as I grumble through this intro...my internet browser has just closed on its own a bunch of different times this morning while I have been in the midst of editing this post...thus I keep losing my work...thus I am getting annoyed with my computer.

But here we go once more...

I had this brilliant opening story about how I used to have to come up with theme days for kids at the camp that I worked at for several years, and the essence of this now lost brilliant story was that if a day didn't have common elements bringing it together, the kids would become bored and disconnected.  The same applies to weddings...you would not want your guests to be bored or disgruntled, so you need to take a look at all the elements of your wedding and how they will tie together:  the location, invitations, decorations, flowers, cake, attire, etc...

There are MANY wedding themes out there ranging from over the top specific taste (a la circus wedding?) or just a general nod to a feeling or color.  Today, I'm going to feature picture inspiration boards that I made revolving around three very different themes:  Rustic and Woodsy, Modern Streamline, and Romantic Garden.  Take a look how all the elements in each mosaic would tie together and "make sense".  Each piece kind of goes together, and that doesn't mean that everything has to be matchy matchy.  Your theme or look doesn't have to be forced or cheesy...I like to think of our wedding as a design surface where I can develop my ultimate dream place...where would we want to be?  What is most beautiful to us?  For each person it will be different.

I present these inspiration mosaics for your consideration...  :)

First:  Rustic and Woodsy featuring Costello's Old Mill

Next:  Modern and Streamlined featuring The University Club 

And finally, Romantic Garden featuring Lavender Crest Winery 

So which theme appeals to you most?  What other themes do you like?  Beachy?  Great Gatsby?  Breakfast at Tiffany's?  :) 

Lately I have been thinking a lot about MOI.  My hair, my flowers, my decorations...so just in time before I become totally self-consumed, my to-do list reminded me that I should be looking around for gifts for my wedding party.  We have a pretty average sized wedding party with four girls and four guys and two flower girls.  I've told my fiance that he needs to be in charge of the guys' gifts, but as my man is a big fan of shopping for Christmas at 4pm on December 24th, I may need to nudge him.  For now though, I'll leave the boys alone, and I'll get to some cute gifts for your flowergirls and ringbearers down the road as well...

Today I'd like to feature gifts for bridesmaids in the $10 and $25 price points.  Down the road we'll look at the $50 and $100 gift pricepoints as well as the gifts for the flower girls, ring bearers, and groomsmen! 

First off are the steal of a deal $10 gifts for Bridesmaids:

Everygirl needs to touch up her lipgloss or make sure she doesn't have any boogers (yup, I went there...).  This light up compact from Embroidery By Melissa will do the trick!

$25 Gifts for Bridesmaids:

Check out this adorable leather journal from Wee Bindery:

Your bridesmaid will always remember you when she sends her very own personalized notecards from Margot Madison.

Give your bridesmaids a gift that they can wear on your wedding day!  Look at these beautiful earrings from Dal Mare! 

Your bridesmaids will love it if you give them this mineral make up kit from Pure Natural Minerals so that they can do a little touch up after dancing! 

 Not bad, eh?  What great find gifts have you found at these price points?  Share!

There are about five activities that my fiance can usually be found doing: browsing at a home improvement store, drooling over golf clubs at a sporting equipment store, cruising car lots, making sure his lawn looks the best on the block, and showing off his mad skills as a grill master.  If he ever says he's bored, I can usually suggest one of those things, and he's entertained and occupied for quite a while.

This Sunday morning, we were reading the paper and drinking our coffee, and I asked him what he wanted to do that day.  "I want us to go buy our wedding bands," was his prompt answer.  Though I didn't want to make a huge deal out of it at the time, this was a totally unexpected answer to my question.  I could have made a big deal out of it and pointed out to him that this fell outside of his realm of the usual suspects of weekend activities, I didn't because the idea sounded great to me, and I didn't want to spoil it or make him self concious. 

Anyhoo, we ended up heading to our jewelers where my fiance had gotten my engagement ring.  We decided to stick with the same place because we have received great customer service, and also that way, all of our jewelry would be protected by the same plans with the same account and what not. 

My fiance and I have much in common in our shopping practices...we usually do research, read reviews, and dwell over choices for a while before selecting anything.  This process goes for clothes, electronics, food, health and beauty, so certainly, I was worried that my fiance would have a hard time picking out his wedding band.  Over at the men's counter we were confronted with many choices.  Since the price of gold has skyrocketed lately, there have been many new metals used in ring production to offer couples something still beautiful while a little more affordable.

With so many choices, we were glad to have the help of a lovely saleswoman who asked us many questions to help narrow down the ring.  Here's some of what she asked us to consider:

Are you tough on your hands (aka at work, at home, playing sports)?  - If you work with your hands or work with heavy machinery, you'll want to consider looking at rings that can stand up to a beating.  Also, and while this may be a little morbid it's something to consider, if your ring ever needs to be cut off because of a smooshed hand or something, you'll need a metal that is cutable. 

Do you want something traditional or something a little different in the design?  - While a traditional band is always a classic, many men are chosing to go with a ring that has a design or a different shape.  Jewers have caught on to this, and most offer a great selection in designs.  Just remember that this will be the ring that you'll wear for life, so make sure it's something that you'll like even when you're an old man!

Are there any cultural or ethnic symbols that you'd like to have represented in a wedding band? - Celtic and claddagh bands are very popular right now to represent Irish herritage, for example, and it doesn't stop there.  Many bands are avaialble that have symbolic representation of faith or culture, so if that's your thing, take a look to see what may appeal to you! 

What metal is right for you?  - Not only have men's rings become more varied in design, they have also become more varied in materials. 

• Titanium - A natural silver-greyish colored metal is lightweight and hypoallergenic.  It is also very strong, dent resistant, scratch resistant, and bend resistant which may make it more appealing if you are hard on your hands.  Titanium rings are very much so more affordable than gold rings right now due to the hike in the price of gold.  The big downfall?  Titanium rings CANNOT be resized due to their strong metal properties.  Everyone's fingers can go up and down in size depending on temperature, weight changes, and aging, so if you choose to go with a Titanium ring and your fingers change, you may end up not being able to wear your original wedding band. 
• Tungsten - A pure element that is four times harder than titanium and nearly ten times harder than gold.  It is absolutely scratch resistant, and the polish will not wear off even after many years.  Like titanium, tungsten rings are much more affordable than gold rings.  The big downfall?  Often Tungsten is mixed with a nickel or cobalt to make an alloy suitable for commercial ring production.  Many people have a nickel allergy, yours truly included, and this could really be a bummer if a wedding ring caused you to have a reaction whenever you wore it.   Also, because the metal is so strong, if hit by a strong enough force, it would not bend; it would chip, fracture, or even shatter.  Just like titanium rings, tungsten rings cannot be resized, and they cannot be engraved. 
• Gold - One of the most desirable precious metals for rings, gold has been used in jewelry making for centuries because of its moldable properties along with the desired coloration.  Pure gold is very moldable and is rarely used due to the softness making way for dents and bending.  Often copper, zinc, nickel, or silver are added to make the gold 22K, 18K, and 14K with the lower numbers being stronger with less pure gold and more alloy mixed in.  Because of its maleability (aka bendability), gold rings can be resized or even recoated if they become scratched or wear thin.  The big downfall?  Currently gold prices have spiked, so if you desire a gold wedding band, be prepared to fork out much more than you would for other metals.
• Platinum - A silvery-white metal that has become popular in jewelry making lately, platinum is 35 times more rarer than gold.  It is hypo allergenic and extremely durable.  It resists tarnishing, and its luminescent properties make this metal shine more than others.  The big downfall?  Platinum is rare, thus it will cost more than a gold band. 

With the help of the saleswoman and trying on a few rings, my fiance and I were both able to find the right ring for us, and we love them!  My fiance isn't usually excited about accessories, but he has mentioned several times since our shopping experience that he's excited about his band.  And I have to say, he looks reaaaaaaaaaallly good with that wedding band on.  I think we picked the right one for us! 

What's the right band for you?