Won't You Be My Therapist? Random Wedding Rants

by Jenny Bryde 3. August 2010 00:37

Hear ye, hear ye!  I declare this post in the name of random wedding rants!  I know that brides are supposed to be delicate and demure and that grooms should be gallant and composed, but damnit!  Sometimes planning a wedding can be a little taxing.  This post today is in substitution of a therapy session.  You, dear readers, are my surrogate psychiatrists.  Here we go…

RANT NUMBER 1:  CONVERSATION AUTOPILOT

Do any of you brides and grooms feel that sometimes you’re answering the same questions over and over?  As our wedding has approached, I feel like I am having the same conversation on auto play repeat no matter where I go.  It sounds something like this:

Someone else:  Hey, your wedding is coming up soon isn’t it?

Me:  Yeah, it’s in (fill in appropriate number) weeks.  It’s coming so fast!

Someone else:  So what do you guys have left to plan?

Me:  Oh not much…just little odds and ends.

Someone else:  How exciting!

Me:  Yeah.

Don’t get me wrong, folks!  I’m excited to get married!  I love all things wedding!  I love imagining how the day will look and feel.  And it’s so nice to hear how people are excited for us.  I’m just a lil’ tired and answering the same question over and over tends to become automated.  Surprise me and ask me something unexpected like how does your cleavage look in your wedding dress or have you considered having a petting zoo at the reception?

RANT NUMBER 2:  SUMMER WAS APPROXIMATELY THREE HOURS LONG. 

At the beginning of our engagement, I would have maybe one wedding project a month which would be leisurely addressed, and I could change my mind a million times without feeling the time crunch of my impending nuptials.  Lately, time has become a precious commodity that seems to be dwindling. 

I’ve had a full schedule this summer of projects, contacts, parties, double checking, fittings, tastings, crafting, bartering, shopping, and blogging.  I still have things on my to do list!  Grrr!!

I remember thinking that I was so happy that I would be done with my school in the spring before we got married this fall because that meant that I could easily finish up any wedding projects this summer without rush or crunching. 

It seems to me that I’m the type of person who will find something to occupy her time even if she’s finished all her projects.  This is my own doing, and I need to come to terms that my to-do list will never end. 

RANT NUMBER 3:  PEOPLE ASSUME AN INVITE.

I’ll make this one short and blunt.  People should never ever ever assume that they are invited to someone’s wedding, especially if they are not a close friend or family.  It is just plain rude for someone to approach a bride or groom to be and ask them for an invite or tell them that they hope they’re invited to the wedding.  I cannot tell you how many people (who I think should know better) have blatantly asked if they could come to our wedding.  Who does this???  I know that weddings are exciting and fun, folks, but you really put a bride or a groom in an EXTREMELY AWKWARD spot when this question is posed.  It has some to do with whether or not the bride and groom likes you, but the scope of a guest list is also dictated by many other factors.    

RANT NUMBER 4:  THE “WHAT IF” GAME.

Unless a bride or groom specifically approaches you and says that they would like to brainstorm possible disaster scenarios and back up plans for their wedding day, don’t play devil’s advocate.  It causes unnecessary drama.  No matter what happens on the wedding day, things will work out.  If someone forgets something or stands in the wrong place, IT WILL BE OKAY.  So stop with the what if, and just let the bride and groom enjoy their time leading up to the wedding.

RANT NUMBER 5:….UM…….

Hmm…I guess I have no more rants right now.  My apologies for this unusually negative post, but I could feel these thoughts banging around in my brain, and I needed a cathartic experience to get them out.  I feel much better.  Thanks for listening as my verbosity ran amuck.  Now it’s your turn.  If you need to scream, scream.  If you need to shout an explicative in the middle of the mall, do it…in Swahili.  If you need to karate chop something, take a rug outside and beat the ever-loving mess out of it.  Then straighten your veil, get your nails did, and slap that smile back on. 

Tell me on the message board what you’d like to rant about today.  It will make me feel better for being so cranky in this post!  J

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Ettiquette | Health and Wellness | Jenny Bryde

Mother of the Bride/Groom Outfit Qs and As

by Jenny Bryde 9. May 2010 00:56

Happy Happy Mother's Day, everyone!  I'd like to take this opportunity to say that I'm blessed to have a fantastic mom who is a supportive role model and friend.  I'm taking her out for brunch and mani and pedi's today.  Since my dad and brother are out of town, we don't have to feel guilty about ditching them to go out and do girl stuff!

Even though this day is traditionally about our biological mothers, don't forget to give a thank you in the form of some friendly gesture to all the other "mom"s in your life: step-moms, foster moms, adoptive moms, grandmoms, mom-in-laws, sisters, friends, coaches, etc.  

In honor of the estrogen, today's post will be all about mom fashion at your wedding!  With two great moms in my life, my own and my fiance's, I want them to look and feel spectacular on our wedding day.  My blanket statement of "wear whatever you want" wasn't exactly the most helpful stance for them.  They both had a lot of questions...

Here are some commonly asked Q and As by moms for brides about wedding day attire:

 

Q.  Do the mom's need to coordinate with the wedding party?  

A.  That is a conversation that the moms and the bride to be need to have.  Some brides will want their entire wedding party and family members to coordinate some how whether it's a certain shade of color or a certain length of dress or some other element.  If a bride has a particular vision for what they'd like people to wear, she should speak up early on so that the mom's can get their shop on without having to return or adjust later.

Q.  Do the mom's need to coordinate with each other?  

A.  Traditionally, the mother of the bride will pick her outfit out first, and then the mother of the groom will go next, coordinating as needed.  This does not have to be the case as two women might have completely different ideas about what is going to look good on them and what style is required.  The bride may want to assist in communicating back and forth with the moms about outfit choices and about her preferences of formality, color, etc.  

Q.  Are there any color no-nos?

A.  Again, it depends on the bride.  Traditionally, no one but the bride wears anything resembling a white dress, and black and red have also been shied away from in the past.  Nowadays, colors are generally much more welcome in a wedding color palette.  Before purchasing your outfit or even before you begin shopping, you may want to ask the bride about any specific colors you should be looking for or staying away from.  

Q.  Are there any styles to stay away from?  

A.  Not really, but you would want to make sure that you are not upstaging the bride.  If your dress is very sexy, embellished, or wildly cut, you may want to get a reading from your daughter before purchasing.  Make sure that you coordinate with the formality of the event as well.  If your daughter's wedding is going to be a back yard casual wedding and she is wearing a casual wedding dress, you would look out of place showing up in a formal ball gown.  Likewise, if your daughter is throwing a black-tie affair, you would want to make sure that you wouldn't show up in a sun dress.

Q.  Are pant suits and outfits okay?  

A.  Certainly!  A dressy pant suit outfit can be absolutely tasteful and stunning on a mother of the bride especially if she would otherwise feel awkward or out of place in a dress.  The bottom line is that your outfit should look like you, just you on a particularly fabulous day!

 

I think the themes running here are clear:

1 - Moms need to communicate with their daughters, and daughters need to communicate with their moms.  

2 - Make sure everyone knows the formality level, color scheme, and bride's wishes.

3 - Find an outfit that you love, that you're comfortable in, and that will let the daughter that you love relax because she knows her mom looks fabulous and tasteful!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

 

 

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Attire | Ettiquette | Jenny Bryde

A Guide to Gift Giving

by Jenny Bryde 12. September 2009 02:17

This post is for anyone who will be giving and/or receiving gifts in the near future...so that would include brides, grooms, family members, wedding party members, guests, cats, dogs, and Santa.  Okay everyone can read this post...

I'd like to chat about gifts today.  It's pretty much common knowledge that at a wedding, guests bring gifts, and they are treated to a time period of some festivities, foods, and drinks as well as being witnesses to the union of the couple.  But outside of the wedding, when is gift giving appropriate, required, not necessary, etc?

There are a lot of events that lead up to a wedding: engagement parties, wedding showers, bachelor/ette parties, bridal luncheons, rehearsal dinners, and the list goes on.  Certainly it would be unreasonable for a bride and groom to expect gifts from everyone at each of these events.  So where do we draw the line on gifts?  

The first thing we should all know is that there is never a time when gifts are required.  It is not as if a guest would be denied entry to a wedding should he or she show up empty handed.  That is unless you are a couple being featured on Bridezillas...

Let's break it down, shall we?

Engagement Parties - Often engagement parties are a surprise to guests as the couple might announce their engagement on the spot.  Even if the intent of the party is known ahead of time, gift giving is not manditory.  At this particular event, should gifts be brought, the couple would not open them during the party as to not make a guest who did not bring a gift feel uncomfortable.  

Wedding Showers - As the original wedding shower was thought to be for a couple that was deeply in love but could not afford to be married thus the friends "showered" them with gifts, a guest here may feel more obligated to bring a gift.  Usually a theme or a registry is known at the time of a shower so that guests can have ideas of what to bring.  Again, gift giving is not mandatory, but a guest would most certainly feel left out in that most guests are bringing a gift at this point and often the gift opening is an event during the party itself.  There is a lot of talk about if a guest brings a gift to a shower, should they bring a gift to the wedding as well?  (I believe that this is a matter of opinion, and it often depends on the relationship between the guest and the couple.  Again, no guest should ever feel pressured to bring a gift!)

Bachelor/ette Parties - Generally speaking, gifts are not brought for the bride or the groom on their respective parties.  The bachelor/ette party is more of a social gathering where the gift is the guests' presence (not to be confused with presents!).  

Bridal Luncheon - This optional gathering is an opportunity for a bride and her bridesmaids and other important women in her life to gather and socialize.  A bride may choose to give gifts to the guests at this event. 

Rehearsal Dinner - Being a member of a wedding party can be very time consuming and possibly expensive.  At the rehearsal dinner, it is customary for the bride and groom to thank each member of their wedding party and to give them a gift of thanks.  The gift could be something that will be worn or used on the wedding day or something completely unrelated to weddings.  The gifts could be given before hand or later as well.  

Wedding Day - Of all the events that are involved in the wedding, the actual wedding date is usally thought of a time when a guest feels obligated to bring a gift.  The bride and groom will have often planned to give some sort of small favor to each of their guests as a token of thanks for attending the wedding, and guests often bring a gift or send a gift to the couple in celebration of the day.  Ettiquette says that gifts can be delivered to the bride and groom within a year of the wedding date. 

So gift-givers and gift-receivers, what do you think?  Tell us about your unique gift situations coming up, and let's figure out what to do!

 


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Ettiquette | Jenny Bryde

A Reminder and A Warning...

by Jenny Bryde 2. September 2009 03:35

G'morning, folks!  Before I jump in with both feet into this post, I wanted to bring something up for you to think about and comment...

There has been some discussion on the forum about how some people use the forum, some people read the blog, and some people weren't sure what they needed to use in order to participate in the QCWeddings.com community.  

My answer to any confusion would be.....(drum roll, please)....Both!  

QCWeddings.com is an evolving company and saw the need to incorporate social networking into its online environment.

The site has been around for about 10 or so years.  When I first started looking for wedding information, I found it to be an extremely useful source of information.  

The discussion forum came next, and if you've used it, you can see that any registered user can post a topic, question, suggestion, review, etc, and others can comment and help out.  Vendors and clients interact, and there is also a space for people to buy or sell wedding related items.  

The blog came this year, and we have tried to keep it quite active over the last few months.  Our goal for the blog was to provide frequently updated information for everyone who reads it on current local wedding information.  We want to incorporate more vendor interviews and also do some profiles on some QC area brides and grooms to learn about their wedding processes.  We want to put some questions or wedding trends out there for you all to ponder and give input.  

Both the forum and the blog can be used as a place to comment or ask questions.  One doesn't cancel the other out.  

I think that I can safely speak for QCWeddings.com in saying that the purpose of our site, forum, and blog is to provide you with the best wedding information and online opportunities available in our area.  The decisions for the online community are made in order for it to be a more useful experience for our brides and grooms and families.  

In saying that, I should also note here that on the forum or on the blog you can always give us feedback, leave questions, and make suggestions.  You know best what you want, so don't be shy, and speak up!  :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now to my warning of the day....RSVP.  

Répondez s'il vous plaît.  Respond, if you please.  Please, respond.  Hey, you!  Answer, @#$^^!

Ettiquette tells us that invitations go out somewhere between 6 and 8 weeks before an event so that our guests have enough time to think and respond before our catering head counts are due.  (Depending on your situation, you certainly may need to adjust this schedule.)  But all of us probably expect that the responses should come rolling in as soon as our fingers let go of the envelopes so that they can slide into the mailbox.  In a world of instant gratification, we still hold near and dear to our hearts the thought of sending and receiving actual mail but become confused/irate/purplexed when we do not receive responses from all immediately.  If you are naive like I am, you'll expect a 100% response rate.  We need to be prepared to have our percent botched down a few percentage points...

How are all of you doing as far as receiving responses from your invited guests?  Whether you are waiting to hear back about your wedding, bridal shower, engagement party, etc, are the people you are inviting being good about returning those cards, emails, or phone calls?  How close can you get to your actual date before you start to stalk your guests in order to solicit a response?  Have you handled this matter delicately, or have you become a full on Bridezilla or Groomzilla?  


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Including Coworkers

by Jenny Bryde 22. August 2009 03:22

All of us have different work situations.  Some of us work in huge offices with many people, others in small groups, some even from a home office.  Some of us truely enjoy our coworkers, and others consider them to be mere aquaintences.  

Where do you draw the line when deciding to invite coworkers?  This has really been something with which I have struggled.

The-Office-Cast-Full-Photo-smaller.jpg office image by Sean521

http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/

I work with a staff of about 65 people.  The vast majority are married, and most have children as well.  I have worked on committees and projects with many of them and consider them people that I truely enjoy.  I rarely hang out with any of them outside of work.  They love to ask questions about my wedding planning and love to offer advice about various aspects.  

Our guest list is going to be capped at about 120 people.  At this point, that does not include coworkers.  I made a mental note just now, and if I were to add co-workers to the mix, there would be about 15 people (plus spouses) that would be added to our guest list.  

So do I do it?  Do I take the plunge and invite the 30+ coworker related people?  Do I invite them only to the after dinner portion of the wedding?  Do I just make it known that our wedding will be smaller and that I won't be able to invite anyone but family and close friends?

What do you think, ladies and gents?  I'd love some advice here and to hear about how others have dealt with inviting coworkers.   Thanks!

 

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Ettiquette | Jenny Bryde

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About the Blog

Hi!  Welcome to the QCWeddings.com blog!  My name is Jenny, and I am a Quad Cities bride to be.  Our goal for this blog is to share information on all things wedding including local vendors, new trends, and amazing inspiration.  Let us know if there is something you'd like to see on here!  

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