I'm an adult.  I'm a professional.  I'm an educated and kind person.  I brake for squirrels and small children.  I'd sum myself up as being nice 99.9% of the time.

The .1% left over when the nice is swept away can be snarky, catty, and vindictive.  What brings this tiny yet powerful piece of my persona out to play?  Well, dear friends, let me tell you a story.  

Once upon a time there was a girl who had an amazing idea.  She felt very passionate about this idea and wanted to bring the idea to life so that all her friends and family could see it in action.  She researched it, planned it, and purchased the materials required for said idea.  She even went as far as confiding in a friend all the details of the idea since she just could contain this wonderful big idea inside of her heart anymore.  

Two weeks later, when revisiting her confidante friend, this girl sees her idea only it's been twisted, warped, and forced to fit her friend's life.  The girl feels surprised, shocked, annoyed, and vengeful.  This was her idea.  This friend stole it and ruined it.

Sound familiar?  It should.  To a degree, this happens to EVERY BRIDE.  I'm here to explain both sides.

First of all - Your wedding is a big deal no doubt, and every bride wants their day to be magazine-cover perfect with originality, personality, beauty, and grace.  If you find ideas that you feel really awesome about to the point of wanting to share, maybe share with someone who isn't getting married would be key.  Why not pick just one person who will be your trusted source of all things wedding sharing.  For me, I'd choose my mom.  She's not getting married.  She is happy if I'm happy.  She's a great soundboard.  She'd never share my info if I didn't want her to.  Perfect!  Find someone like that.  

On the other hand - Brace yourselves, brides, because what I'm about to tell you is hard to swallow.  There really aren't all that many "original" ideas anymore.  If you find a picture on the internet or see an articile in a magazine and say "Ooooh!  I'm going to do that!" then you need to agree that it wasn't your idea.  You can't necessarily "claim" it, although it certainly is annoying if everyone else seems to want to claim it as well.  We want to be original.  So instead, put a spin on the idea that you saw so that it is specific to you.  How can you make this idea YOURS?

Also keep in mind - If someone steals your idea, while it's SUPER annoying, it is also complimentary.  That idea that you hatched is SO GOOD that the friend is willing to forgo niceties to take the idea and duplicate it.  The best, best, best move you can make her is to be gracious and ignore them.  Maybe confide in that one person how annoyed you are, but I wouldn't make this an end of the road for a friendship or a reason to have a public outburst.  In the end, at your wedding, no one at all is going to say...hmm...this centerpiece/cake/dance is just like what so-and-so told me they want to do.  Everyone is going to be focusing on how happy you and your new spouse look and how wonderful a celebration it is and how happy they are to be a part of your day.

The .1% of my persona that comes out when I have an idea stolen is a really quick, strong part of my inner ego.  I have to work hard sometimes when an idea that I had was "stolen", but in the end, we need to look at the bigger picture.  This isn't a seed spitting contest.  It's your wedding.  So forget the "stealers" and focus on your sweetheart.  

In the meantime, here are some ideas that you're welcome to steal because I think they are too awesome not to pass on!

 

 

So on the side, I'm pretty much a techie geeky nerdo-rama.  I love finding cool new ways to solve problems, and it just so happens that a huge problem that we brides and grooms to be find ourselves facing is the collection of RSVP information when we send out our invitations.  We snail mail our beautiful invites, and we wait and wait for the RSVP cards to return.  Once we have them all back, we sort our data.  A pile of those who are coming, a list of those who aren't, a jumble of paper sitting on your desk that can be a logistical nightmare in the end.  How about entrusting our old friend Mr. Internet to take care of the dirty work for us?

Here's one way to do it...

1) Create a free Google account if you don't already have one.  Hint - if you use Gmail, you already have a Google account.  

2) Go to http://drive.google.com and log in using your Google account username and password.  Your Google Drive is like your hard drive where you can save documents only it's up in the "cloud" aka stored on the internet rather than on your physical computer.  

3) Click on the red "create" button, and choose the "form" option.  On this page, you can design questions in any way you see fit.  You can ask people to enter all kinds of information such as name, number of people coming, meal choice, etc.  You can choose different themes to make it "pretty" up in the top left corner, and when you're all done entering information, you can save your form.  Made a mistake?  No worries, you can come back and edit your form whenever necessary.

4) Back on your Google Drive page, select the form that you just created by checking the box in the lower left hand corner, and then clicking the button that looks like a plus and a person on the top of the page.  This will let you set the sharing options.  

5) Change the sharing option to read that anyone with the link may view the page.  This lets you share the link with anyone that you want who can use the form to enter a response without having to sign in.  Your form won't appear in search engines, so the chances of anyone other that those you give the link to viewing the page is slim.  

6)  Copy and paste the URL into an email or add it to your invite.  Hint - use tinyurl.com to create a shorter web address to share.  Once shared with your guests, you can sit back and wait for responses to come in.  The responses will be automatically collected and arranged in a spreadsheet for you to view.  

7)  While viewing the form, select tools from the menu bar, and then select "notification".  You can choose how often you'd like to be notified of any entries made on the form.  Maybe you want to know right away when someone has entered an RSVP, or maybe you want a summary at the end of each day.  

The beauty of this whole ordeal is that the data is collected for you, and you can sort the data and figure out your wedding "logistics" much quicker than if you had to compile this information all on your own.  If you still prefer to send out the physical RSVP card, you could still do a Google form and just enter the data on your own and let the computer still do all the work for your data crunching.  

Need a visual?  Check out this video tutorial...

 

 

I've heard of cold feet, but cold shoulders?  Sure they happen!  Where did the 90+ degree days go?  There's a lovely crinkle in the air these days, and that means that a lovely bride can get a little shivery while waiting for the pictures to wrap up so she can go inside.  Solution?  How about a pretty cover up? 

I remember when I was a little girl and it snowed on Halloween.  My mother made me wear a winter jacket over my ballerina costume, and I was as mad as could be whenever someone had to ask me to explain my costume.  Never fear, brides-to-be, cover ups for a wedding can look beautiful and totally intentional! 

Here are some ways you could keep warm: Boleros, Cardigans, and Scarves! 

 

 

These cover ups are so pretty they look like they were bought with the wedding dresses!  They make for interesting photographs too when the bride stands out because of a sudden splash of color, change of texture, or added bling bought by a cardigan, bolero, or scarf.  So if you're getting married this fall or winter...or really any time of the year I suppose, you may want to think about finding the perfect cover up just in case!

We know, we know, wedding days are all about the bride and groom, but today I'd like to take a moment to do a quick nod to our guests in particular those who trudge across town, state, country, oceans to be with you on your special day.  Picture this: You've been invited to an event halfway around the world.  You have to book a flight, arrange for a hotel, purchase an outfit maybe, and buy a gift.  While our guests are for the most part very excited to share in your joyous occasion, we need to keep in mind that traveling is expensive and often difficult.  It may not be in your budget to cover the travel expenses of your out-of-town guests, you can give them a much needed token of thanks through a hospitality or welcome basket! 

First things first - find out where your guests are staying.  If you've blocked rooms off at a hotel, this is easy.  Often the person in charge of booking your guests can help you arrange to have a basket delivered to their room upon arrival. 

Now we need to decide what to put into the basket.  Keep in mind that sometimes the most important items are free.  Here are some key free (or nearly free) items to make sure you add:

• A copy of the invitation in case they forgot theirs and can't remember the details of your day.
• A map of the area.
• Important numbers of a family contact person, travel companies, etc.
• A handwritten note from you thanking them for taking the trouble to be there!
• Travel sized portions of a medicine cabinet: tylenol, antacid, bandaids, etc.

After the essentials, let's add some personality with something more personal to you or reflecting a local favorite:

• A t-shirt, mug, bookmark, etc that has your name and wedding date on it.
• Local food - candies from Lagomarcinos?  Boetjes hot mustard?  Lavendar Crest wine?
• Pre-stamped postcards from the area so they can send a note home.
• A local newspaper
• Tickets to a local event if they aren't invited to the rehearsal dinner, for example - tickets to a River Bandits game, Figge Museum, or a gift card to your favorite local shop.
• If the out-of-towners include children, also include some fun things for them - crayons and coloring book, games, snacks, etc.

 

He loves you no matter what, right?  I mean you guys are getting ready to say for better or worse,  so there is absolutely no pressure to get fit for your wedding day, right?  (Insert smirk here.)

Yes, our fiances love us, and we love us too, but an exceedingly common concern for brides to be (and many grooms to be) is getting a little more buff and losing a little more pudge before that big day when all eyes and all cameras are trained on you.  Eighty percent of United States brides list losing weight as a major priority before the big day.  For those of us who have this priority, you often feel exceedingly frantic to get started as you have to first face the dress shopping and alterations scene long before you slip into that mermaid, sheath, or ball gown on your wedding day.

Experts say that the worst thing that someone can do when trying to get in shape for a particular event is to try to cram all workouts and dieting into the month or so ahead of the wedding.  This does nothing but stress your mind and your body out which can lead to weight loss resistance and a stressful mood, two things you don't need in the last few weeks of planning.  Rather than being the hare, those who want to get fit should be a turtle and take their time.  Slow and steady.  Even better is to think of losing weight and getting fit not as a race with a destination but rather a lifestyle change that will continue into your marriage. 

There is no one magical answer that fits everyones needs.  Each of us has a body that reacts differently to different approaches, but the goodnews is that a lot of people have been in your shoes before and have shared their knowledge with us.  All across the internet and the library and the television are people who want to help others get fit for their wedding days.  Here are some resources on workouts to help you:

Websites:

Wedding Day Shape Up 101 by Fitness Magazine

 6-month Wedding Fitness Plan by The Knot

Bridal Bootcamp Workout Plan by Fitness Magazine

The Sexy Bride Workout Plan by Shape Magazine

Your Wedding Dress Workout Plan by Fitbie.MSN

3-Month Wedding Prep Guide by Wedding Channel

Books to Check Out: 

The Women's Health Big Book of Exercises: Four Weeks to a Leaner, Sexier, Healthier YOU!

The Game On! Diet: Kick Your Friend's Butt While Shrinking Your Own

Run Your Butt Off!: A Breakthrough Plan to Lose Weight and Start Running (No Experience Necessary!)

Zumba®: Ditch the Workout, Join the Party! The Zumba Weight Loss Program

All of these links have something in common in that they want you to carefully and in a really healthy way work towards being well, not skinny, for your wedding day.  If you want results, you'll have to put in the work, so if you are part of that 80% of brides who want to drop a few pounds before the big day, then our advice is to start now.  Be well!